The Pursuit of "Happyness" in Bangladesh

Transcribed from a journal I wrote during my layover in Doha, Qatar:

Many people in my life know that the end of 2007 also marked the end of my engagement with my (now) ex-fiance. Since then I feel like I have done a pretty darn good job of healing emotionally, mentally, etc. I have rekindled old friendships and have had plenty of laughs with old friends and new. I have gone on adventures to different parts of the globe, many with my Mom which have been an absolute blast. I have held an admirable job and have played a huge roll in the success of a little girl with autism as she continued to learn and grow.

Each and every one of these experiences has been fantastic, and some even life changing. Yet while they have made me happy for the time being, I feel like they have only scratched the surface of coming close to what true, intrinsic happiness feels like. The kind that makes your soul smile, knowing that you are fulfilling your life's purpose. Instead I feel like my heart has been sort of in a state of being permanently even-keeled.

Side note: As I write this I am sitting in the airport in Doha, Qatar, with the book "Eat, Pray, Love" in my lap. I am only 76 pages into this book and I have already drawn about a million parallels between me and the author, Liz Gilbert. Her writing has already made me experience every possible emotion that you could ever want from a good book: from laughing out loud to even getting tears in my eyes. Eat, Pray, Love has immediately become one of my top three favorite books of all time- I highly recommend you read it if you haven't already!

I am en route to Dhaka, Bangladesh, the most poverty stricken country on our huge planet.



While I will officially be interning at Grameen Bank, I will unofficially be on a path of self exploration and (hopefully) discovery. I hope the extreme setting will help jolt my senses into a state of true, deep, raw feeling. I want to know what it feels like to be drunk with elation, so high on life it leaves you delirious and exhausted. (But to be able to achieve that state maybe I need to see the other extreme first?) While the words "happiness" and "Bangladesh" aren't usually spoken in the same breath, anyone would agree that Bangladesh is a land of extremes. And I feel like I need to be submerged in the extreme to jump start my journey. I want to stop thinking with my head and start feeling with my heart, and let those feelings guide me through this next chapter of my life.

I've never been able to verbalize my reasoning for this trip until now, and I honestly think "Eat, Pray, Love" played a huge role in helping me articulate what has been going through my head. So to everyone I know who scratched their heads and thought I was crazy for choosing to go to Bangladesh, I hope this helps.

Bangladesh Adventure: Communication Breakdown

Tomorrow is the first day of the next chapter of my life.

At 11:35pm I will be flying out of JFK to Dhaka, Bangladesh, with a short layover in Doha, Qatar. A day and a half later (Monday morning at 8:25am) I should arrive in Dhaka, where I will be picked up by the Grand Prince Hotel (3 stars for only $12/night!). After checking into the hotel I will make my way over to Grameen Bank, a micro-lending bank that won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006 for reducing poverty in Bangladesh by 20%.

Side note: Grameen gives loans to individuals who use the money to work their way out of poverty (e.g., through small business operations), and then repay the money to the bank. The money can then be given in the form of another loan to another person in need, and the cycle of lending continues. Their default rate is 97% I believe, which means that 97% of all loans made by Grameen to the impoverished people of Bangladesh are repaid. Pretty incredible statistic considering that the majority of Bangladeshis live on less than $1 a day!

A few months ago I applied for a 3-week internship position at Grameen Bank so I could learn more about micro-lending in one of the most challenged developing countries in the world. I was excited to learn that my application was accepted, and I would have the opportunity to be part of such an accredited and productive organization. I booked my flight, went to the Bangladesh Consulate in New York City to get my visa (quite the adventure in itself), and started looking at hotels.

And then the communication breakdown began. All of my correspondence with Grameen Bank's Training Program has been through emails (including everything from my application to their acceptance offer). About two weeks ago I emailed Grameen just to re-confirm that I was actually coming to Bangladesh, and would be arriving on July 20th. No response. I emailed them again. No response, again. Hmph. I decided to call them (maybe they got washed away in a cyclone or something? this is their rainy season). On two different occasions I called three different numbers and no one picked up...

So, I am off to Bangladesh tomorrow to do an internship at an organization that may or may not even be expecting me. I figure there are three possible outcomes:

1. I get to Grameen, they do know I am supposed to be there, and everything goes smoothly.
2. I get to Grameen, they have no idea I am supposed to be there, but make the most out of an extra person there to help and my internship continues unscathed.
3. I get to Grameen, they have no idea I am supposed to be there, and turn me away (can't see them turning away free help, but weirder things have happened).

No matter what ends up happening, it will be my final decision whether I stay in Dhaka for the entire three weeks. I have repeatedly assured my family and friends (and will continue until I get on the plane tomorrow night), that if I get to Dhaka and things are "not okay" I will simply consider it a learning experience, and continue the adventure in a different location (Nepal? Bhutan? Thailand?).

Until then, wish me luck!