The Pursuit of "Happyness" in Bangladesh

Transcribed from a journal I wrote during my layover in Doha, Qatar:

Many people in my life know that the end of 2007 also marked the end of my engagement with my (now) ex-fiance. Since then I feel like I have done a pretty darn good job of healing emotionally, mentally, etc. I have rekindled old friendships and have had plenty of laughs with old friends and new. I have gone on adventures to different parts of the globe, many with my Mom which have been an absolute blast. I have held an admirable job and have played a huge roll in the success of a little girl with autism as she continued to learn and grow.

Each and every one of these experiences has been fantastic, and some even life changing. Yet while they have made me happy for the time being, I feel like they have only scratched the surface of coming close to what true, intrinsic happiness feels like. The kind that makes your soul smile, knowing that you are fulfilling your life's purpose. Instead I feel like my heart has been sort of in a state of being permanently even-keeled.

Side note: As I write this I am sitting in the airport in Doha, Qatar, with the book "Eat, Pray, Love" in my lap. I am only 76 pages into this book and I have already drawn about a million parallels between me and the author, Liz Gilbert. Her writing has already made me experience every possible emotion that you could ever want from a good book: from laughing out loud to even getting tears in my eyes. Eat, Pray, Love has immediately become one of my top three favorite books of all time- I highly recommend you read it if you haven't already!

I am en route to Dhaka, Bangladesh, the most poverty stricken country on our huge planet.



While I will officially be interning at Grameen Bank, I will unofficially be on a path of self exploration and (hopefully) discovery. I hope the extreme setting will help jolt my senses into a state of true, deep, raw feeling. I want to know what it feels like to be drunk with elation, so high on life it leaves you delirious and exhausted. (But to be able to achieve that state maybe I need to see the other extreme first?) While the words "happiness" and "Bangladesh" aren't usually spoken in the same breath, anyone would agree that Bangladesh is a land of extremes. And I feel like I need to be submerged in the extreme to jump start my journey. I want to stop thinking with my head and start feeling with my heart, and let those feelings guide me through this next chapter of my life.

I've never been able to verbalize my reasoning for this trip until now, and I honestly think "Eat, Pray, Love" played a huge role in helping me articulate what has been going through my head. So to everyone I know who scratched their heads and thought I was crazy for choosing to go to Bangladesh, I hope this helps.